Cabin Fever: Jeff's Adventures
by Mr. Plummer
Summary: So what if Jeff didn't get killed by those police officers and ended up surviving throughout the whole movie without catching the virus? This is my vision of how Jeff would have to live this life on the run until he can be proven healthy and innocent.
1. Chapter 1: On the Run

**CHAPTER ONE: ON THE RUN**

It had been one full day since I abandoned Paul and the others to avoid getting the flesh eating virus that Karen had somehow caught from that weird hermit dude. As I sat there in that tunnel, a massive migraine thanks to a killer hangover from all the beers I drank to keep myself occupied that night, I wondered if Karen touched that hermit before Paul accidentally set him on fire. That would be the only logical explanation for how Karen caught it. I growled a little to myself as I sat up, clenching my head in agony, wondering how the others were doing, and if Burt returned with my car along with some great help. I mean, I didn't need to worry. I hadn't caught the virus, but I'm sure Karen gave it to Burt since I remembered that he was sweating like some piggy boy who drank too much wine and then barfed all over his computer because of it. Not to mention he was also coughing up a bit of blood. Did Marcy catch it, too? I felt bad that I abandoned her the most since she was still my girlfriend despite me just abandoning her when she needed my comfort the most. But of course, me being the tough macho Jeff, had to be the alpha male of the group and show no weakness, but I showed the most weakness by abandoning them. They had to have been dead by now, especially since Grim's rabid dog, Dr. Mambo was lurking along our cabin from time to time. I couldn't keep wondering to myself any longer, I had to go back to the cabin. I had to save my friends.

I managed to pull myself up from where I lay, and stretched my arms and back a little bit to waken my muscles and crack my bones a little bit. I rubbed at my eyes and looked over at the entrance to the tunnel I was in. I remembered that I was actually hiding out in an abandoned shed in the basement, so I would have to crawl out if I wanted to see the daylight. This was something I thought about doing last. But nonetheless, I started crawling up to the entrance way, ignoring the empty beer bottles that caused the tunnel to wreak of alcohol, which was something I did not want to drink for a while. I made my way out of shed and managed to stand up, shaking a little bit because I felt a cool breeze brush by me. It was our spring break after all, but that didn't matter what week it was supposed to be. What mattered was getting back home and acting as if none of this shit ever happened. I started walking, holding some kind of cloth in my hand just in case I would need to block out the smell of rotting corpses.

I began to stumble down a little hill the house was on, I was watched the sun gleam brightly over the lake I was near. I thought about getting a drink from the lake to rehydrate my body, but I thought to myself what if that hermit took a dip into the lake to put himself out? I decided I wasn't going to take the chance and continued to our cabin.

As I walked across the shore of the lake, I rubbed at my temples as a way to cope with my hangover, not that this hangover was anything bad. I've definitely had worse hangovers than this one. The worst hangover I could possibly remember was when Marcy and I went to this party last year. My old pal, Sean was celebrating his twenty first birthday with his boys, and I was invited as long as I brought Marcy with me. What I didn't realize was that the stupid chink only invited him as an attempt to steal her away from me. Now, for those of you who didn't know, there are times when I can have thirty bottles of beer and still hold my liquor. It wasn't like what happened that day. I remember walking out of the bathroom after vomiting like fucking crazy, with the intent of having a bit more to drink. I was sure Marcy wouldn't mind since we walked to where Sean was renting a house for the summer. As I walked over to the fridge to get another beer, I looked to my right and like six feet away from me, I could see that stupid Asian cunt brushing his fingers across Marcy's cheek, and Marcy giggling and taking the affection well. I could feel my blood boiling, my anger rising. Maybe if I was sober I would've just told Sean to back off with a warning, but the alcohol was taking over me, man. Alcohol made my temper shorter than it normally is. The next thing I know, I ran across the room and tackled Sean. I then proceeded to beat his face in with a couple of hard hitting punches to his face. I remember Marcy trying to pry me off, begging me to stop, but I couldn't bring myself to come to a hault and instead, I pushed her off of me like she was nothing and could hear her body hit the floor with a light thud. I ended up fracturing Sean's facial features, breaking an orbital bone and cracking his skull. I was arrested and charged with attempted manslaughter and I was only let out because my dad was a successful businessman with a lot of money who could buy his family out of any tight situation. I remember trying to call Marcy for the next three months, but she rejected all my calls. Only when I ended up saving her from attempted rape from Sean, did she end up forgiving me. I then promised her that I would drink responsibly and never lose my temper again as long as we were together.

Anyway, I continued along the passage back to the cabin. I could tell that I was getting closer, since the smell of rotting flesh was beginning to circle the area around me. I could feel myself about to vomit so to avoid that, I pressed the white cloth against my nose. I made my way through a bit of branches and as soon as our cabin was in clear sight, my eyes widened at the horrible disgusting sight. I took the cloth off of my nose for about two seconds and continued to walk through the aftermath of what went down.

I could see bits of flesh and clothing covered in blood scattered all over the area. I also saw Marcy's sandals laying around. One of them however, had her foot in one of them. It was clear that my baby was a goner. I walked over to the cabin to see if there were any more dead bodies, and boy did I guess right. I pressed the cloth tighter to my nose as I looked at the bodies of the people from the gas station we stopped at a couple days earlier. My guess was that they had chased us down to kill us since we were catching the virus, but either Paul or Burt had managed to kill them. I stepped over the first step to the front porch of the cabin since it was drenched in blood and I was not risking to step in the blood as I did not want to catch the virus. I slowly crept into the door way and what I saw almost made me spill my guts.

"Holy shit..." I managed to mumble through the cloth pressed against my nose as I looked down at the floor and beside the fire place was Burt's dead virus infected body. A chair was leaning against his stomach, but I noticed a bullet hole in his chest. Maybe one of those gas people got to Burt but ended up being killed by Paul, but where was Paul?

I took one last look at Burt and noticed that there was a rifle in his hand. Poor guy, he lost a gun war with those rednecks. I then walked over him also to take a look around the place. The kitchen seemed to be the same as it was the day I left, but I wasn't going to touch anything in there in fear of, you guessed it! Catching that fucking flesh eating virus. Fuck! Why was this happening to us?! What did we do that made god punish us?!

I continued to walk slowly past the kitchen and slowly moved my body to look into a bedroom, but didn't really see anything that was gory or serious, so then I turned to the bathroom door across from the bedroom and slowly opened it. As the door slowly moved out of the way so I could get a clear look of the bathroom, I felt myself geting nauseous when I saw that the sink, the bathtub and the shower curtins were drenched in blood. Why would somebody try to take a bath when you know you're bleeding to death because you caught the virus that that bitch Karen gave to you is beyond me.

I could feel myself shaking, I felt scared for myself. Imagine how things would've turned out if I had stuck around? Maybe that crazy dog would've ripped me apart like he did to Marcy, or maybe those rednecks from the gas station would've gunned me down like they did to Burt, or I would die slowly like Karen once she gave me the virus.

I walked back over to Burt's body and removed the cloth from my nose. I could feel myself choking up. This was real shit right here.

"They're...dead..." I managed to say to myself through sobs that weren't trying to come out. "My god..." I could feel the sobs escaping the more I spoke. I still could not believe that any of this happened. Here I was with my pals a couple days ago, looking forward to spending a whole week in a cabin in the woods by a nice meadow, and then suddenly this hermit freak comes along and infects all my friends, and now they were all dead. It was really hard for me to take in.

Suddenly, I began to realize something else, something that I had done that Neither Marcy, Burt, Karen, and maybe Paul did. "I made it..." I mumbled through sobs. That's right, fuckers. I didn't catch the virus and I survived all the shit that went down last night. "I made it...I really fucking made it..."

I kept repeating that to myself as I slowly walked towards the door. The more I walked towards the door, the more excited and enthusiastic I began to get. "I did it...I fucking made it!...I KNEW IT!...I KNEW IT! I FUCKING MADE IT!" I threw my arms up in victory.

I was really really happy for myself. I was going to miss my friends no doubt about that. But what mattered to me most was that I got through something that was extremely deadly. I never really did believe in luck, but some how, some way, I survived it all.

The more I told myself that I made it, the more happy and proud that I got. The tears that were streaming down my face went from fear, to sadness, to happiness. "YES! I MADE IT!" I kept saying to myself as I walked out the door.

"HAHA! I FUCKING MADE IT!" I shouted one more time. Before I could think about what to do next, a loud noise that hit the wooden floor I was on made me jump. I looked over to see what it was, and I could see three police officers with guns pointing at me. One of them was hiding behind a tree, and the other two were behind some wooden fence.

"What the fuck?!" I shouted, scared that I almost got shot. They didn't stop though, they kept shooting. Their bullets missing me by an inch. I could hear the sound of those metal dots piercing the wood on the cabin. I couldn't ask any questions, they thought that I had the virus and judging by what happened, they thought I was a killer, too. I had to escape before I was gunned down like Burt. I ran back into the door and quickly began to search for another way out. I could hear one of the cops walking towards the cabin.

"Dammit! Now we gotta go inside that infested bloodhouse!" he shouted in a snarky tone.

I ran over to where the bedroom across from the bathroom was and looked to see if there was a window that I could fit through. I sighed in relief, seeing that there was a window from my right that looked big enough for me to squeeze through. Before I could think, I could hear the cops' footsteps becoming louder.

"We're gonna take you down, you infected motherfucker!" one of them shouted.

I quickly jumped through the window, but felt myself getting stuck as I only managed to get my body half way through.

"Fuck..." I hissed to myself as I quickly began to move my body left and right in an attempt to squeeze through. After a couple seconds I managed to get through completely before I fell out and landed on the ground lightly back first.

I could feel my heart beat heavily. Nobody told me that the cops were looking for us! Maybe I should't have came back to check out the condition of my friends. Maybe I should've just stayed in that shed/tunnel thing forever if it meant that I wouldn't have to deal with cops that are hunting me down.

The gunshots were going off again. I had to get away from this place fast. I quickly scurried off and began running like a fat boy wanting the last donut. I didn't care if the cops were chasing me or not, the only thing I cared about was getting away from everything involving that cabin.

I took off into another side of the woods, making sure to go into an area where the cops were least likely to find me. There were a lot of dead branches and dead leaves scattered all around, and I'm pretty sure I encountered a lot of tics, but I didn't care, I just wanted to get as far away as possible.

When I heard that the gunshots had died out and felt that I had lost the cops, I decided to stop to catch a breather. I leaned against a big tree and ran a hand through my long blonde hair. I couldn't return to my mom and dad anytime soon, not when this shit was going down.

"The fuck is going on?" I mumbled to myself and felt myself about to cry again. I wiped away a few tears before looking around the area. I was lost in a woods presumably far away from that cabin, but I couldn't stop now. I knew that I had to be on the run because the cops were looking for me and probably weren't going to stop until I was dead. There was no turning back for me now. It's time for this Jeff guy to live a new life.


	2. Chapter 2: Ragnarok Rock

**CHAPTER TWO: RAGNAROK ROCK**

It had been seven whole hours since I decided to stop for a breather. I don't know how the fuck I had managed to stay in the same spot for seven hours and not do anything. The cops would've probably found me by now but I guess their retarded hick sheriff was more focused on probably burning them in some fire like a bunch of fucking dicks because we were outsiders. They never wanted us in this town in the first place. Hell, one of the gas people made it a big deal when he caught Burt stealing a Snickers bar. Apparently stealing a nougat filled chocolate bar was equivalent to murdering ten people. I was still scared shitless as I looked over my shoulder every two minutes. I was making silent crying sounds like the little pussy that I really was. It was fucking cold out, too. Why the fuck was it cold out in April?! Why do I feel the need to try and find a bigger coat in the woods of all fucking places?! I couldn't think right. It was like I drank ten more bottles despite not being able to drink anymore. Whatever, I don't give a fuck what I'm saying anymore. Maybe I do need to just die already. Give me the fucking skin virus. Fuck, maybe give me Lou Gehrig's disease!

Suddenly, I heard some kind of noise. Like somebody was stepping on a piece of wood. I quickly jumped up in alert mode in case a cop was right behind me, pointing his gun at me like a fucking abusive prick, just like that fucking piece of shit uncle of mine. His name is Bill. Bill was this guy who lost one MMA fight and thought suddenly he was this badass. My dad couldn't fucking stand him either. Every time Bill would challenge my dad to a fight just because Bill was a short tempered bald gray haired fat guy at thirty years old and would take every small thing seriously, my dad always whipped his ass. I know I could kick Bill's ass, too. Bill didn't really know any martial arts and was just a fucking fraud. And it's because of this that we never invited him to any family gatherings. Whenever he tried to show up at Christmas parties, he would pop in with the lightest beer in his hand and he would say in a douchy voice, "What's everybody drinking tonight?!" I don't know why, but it made me so fucking angry, but I'm getting off topic so I'll need to save this for a better time. Maybe I'll run into him on accident and then cry some more because he would be there.

So yeah, back to the noise I heard. I looked over behind me to see who was making that noise, thinking that a cop had found me. But it turned out to be something else. It wasn't even a human. It looked like one of those fucking weird monster puppets from Sesame Street. I know I got drunk last night, but I swear to god that I did not smoke anything funny. Grim never showed up with his famous bag of weed so I shouldn't be stoned.

The little creature walked over to me with a small grin on his face. His fur was yellow and his eyes looked funny.

"Hey there." it said in a funny cartoony like voice. "You doing okay?"

Normally if anybody said that, I would've gotten in their face and tell them off just for asking a stupid question, maybe even shove them on their fucking asses, but this was just a small innocent creature, so I couldn't be aggressive to a small living thing. I sighed and spoke to him. "Not really, bro." I said dully. Why the fuck was I calling him 'bro'?

"Why?" the creature asked me, walking over and sitting beside me. "What's going on? Are you running away from home?"

I let out a little anxious chuckle when he asked that. What the fuck was I going to tell this small puppet like creature? 'Oh yeah, my friends and I went to this cabin and got this virus and they all died and the cops are after me.' Yeah cause that was so normal and wouldn't scare the average person.

"You don't have to tell me right away." the creature suddenly said. Thank fucking god.

"I just don't know what I'm going to do now." I told the creature. "I can't go back home...I can't go anywhere..." I could feel myself about to cry again. Jesus, how many fucking times have I been crying this whole time?

"Not to worry, pal." the creature said. "I know a place where you can stay at for a little bit."

My eyes widened in excitement as I turned my head to face him. "Wait...you do?" I asked, trying not to sound that excited.

The creature nodded. "I do." he said, "But before I do, let me introduce myself and where I come from." he stood up and held out his tiny hand to me. "My name is Wembly. Wembly Fraggle."

Wembly Fraggle? Sounds like a pornstar name for Marcy if she ever would become one. God, I miss Marcy already.

I slowly extended my hand to him, but I shouldn't say I really did since he was so small but I managed to fit his hand into mine and slowly moved it up and down.

"The name's Jeff." I said to him. "Jeff Gordon. So uh...where can I exactly stay?"

Wembly grinned and jumped up and down a little bit like he was getting excited for some strange reason.

"The place you can stay is the greatest place ever on earth." Wembly pointed out. "That place is called..."

Wembly inhaled like he was taking a deep breath before exhaling in a loud pointless shout, "FRAGGLE ROCK!"

I raised a brow at that. "The fuck is Fraggle Rock?" I said with a little douchiness to my voice.

"Fraggle Rock is the place where dreams come true." was all Wembly told me before he started running off like some random faggot that tried to kiss Paul at a college party once.

"Hey, wait up, dude!" I shouted as I quickly got up and started running off in the direction Wembly went. Hopefully this wasn't a rouse that would end up with me getting shot to death by the cops. I hoped that I wouldn't be running into some kingdom ran by some stupid Indian twink. I don't know why I was trusting this random creature, but I felt like there was nothing to lose so I was following him. I hope that this wouldn't end up with me killing myself because of all these tiny creatures singing gay songs and trying to suck my dick at the same time. I hope this will be a great new experience. I only hoped so.


	3. Chapter 3: Rumble in the Jungle

**CHAPTER THREE: RUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE**

I kept running after the strange looking creature that called himself Wembly Fraggle. You know, at first when I decided to take a trip into the woods with my pals, I never expected to come across random fury talking puppets that looked to be alive. I had to have been hallucinating on something. Maybe one of the beers had LSD in it or something. Maybe I decided to eat a mushroom on the side of the road on the way back to the cabin. The bottom line is that this isn't normal and would never happen in real life no matter how many times some dumb twink from New York will tell you otherwise.

I ran after this random looking creature for what seemed like fifty seconds until I reached what looked to be some kind of weird cave. And standing at the entrance was Wembly himself, with a stupid fucking grin.

"Wembly, what the fuck did you drag me to?" I asked him, not in the mood to play a stupid little game of tag with some random looking animal. Wembly still kept that dumb grin on his face despite my voice being as stern as I could possibly make it without sounding intimidating.

"I told you, Jeff!" Wembly shouted cheerily. "I told you that I was taking you to a safe place!"

"I thought you said you were taking me to the greatest place on earth." I told him, getting in his face a little bit. "This place smells like it's inhabited by stupid Indians."

Thank Christ that Wembly didn't know that I was being extremely racist against Indian people. I mean, I didn't hate them or anything, it's just that I didn't care for them. I didn't want to be viewed as anything like that Santa Claus looking guy from the convenient store that we stopped at before we went to our cabin. I swear that the motherfucker told us that his rifle was for...well...the guy said the "n" word in a blunt manner. He didn't say it like a gangster would to his boy, but he said it like a Southern man said it to a black man in the 1930s.

"Jeff, don't be sour." Wembly said, obviously not intimidated by me whatsoever. "Fraggle Rock is the greatest place on earth!" He then ran into the cave, I guess he was expecting me to follow him in, so I did, albeit slowly and not like a guy on speed like this yellow fuck was.

As I walked inside, I began to look around at the obscene and just outright weird sight. The cave looked to be lighting with a purple aura inside, and of course, there were hundreds of these fucking fraggle thingies running around just being gay and retarded. I could see that there were some that were just eating radishes like they were nothing. I fucking hate radishes. Every time I saw a radish, I would pick it up and throw it at a random Indian that I saw on the street. Also, to my left, I saw what looked to be a black man, wearing glasses but I could totally tell that he had a lazy eye and a slack jaw, which lead me to believe that he was retarded and still lived with his mother despite being forty five years old. I mean, yeah I relied on my parents for a lot of things, but never was I planning to live with them past fucking twenty five. I almost felt bad for the guy though, these fucking weird fuck fraggles were throwing radishes at the man for no reason, but after hearing the guy talk and what he said and how he said it, I was glad that he was getting stoned to death by radishes.

"Y-y-y-y-y-you fraggle bitch!" the man shouted at them in what sounded like the least serious way possible because of the fucking stutter that made me cringe and hate life. "W-w-w-w-w-w-what did I do wrong, you racist honkeys?!"

One of the fraggles prepared for his throw, but before throwing at his face, he said. "For the last time, you dumb old man," it shouted. "Nobody cares about your stupid updates on some girl named Sunny!" the fraggle then threw the radish at the black man, this time it hit his lazy eye in which the impact was so hard that it caused the eye to explode. Blood splattered around him and hit the cave walls like fruit punch. The fraggles cheered like crazy once they saw that the old man was dead.

"What the fuck is wrong with you people?!" I shouted, pretending to care when in reality I didn't at all. I was just some guy who just lost his fucking friends to some skin virus and now I'm watching some stupid black man get executed with radishes. How the fuck did I go from that? I started regretting abandoning my friends more and more. I wish that dog that killed Marcy killed me also, better yet, I was beginning to wish that Sean successfully raped Marcy and I wasn't there to save her. That way I wouldn't mend our relationship and I wouldn't be convinced to go to some stupid cabin where everybody got infected.

Wembly walked up to me and smiled. "You don't care for that man." he said cheerily. I could tell he was being sarcastic, but I didn't care. "I will take you to our leader, though. He will explain everything and what we are all about."

The little asshole began walking down some random isle and like a retarded robot I decided to follow, all slumped with my hands in my jacket pockets. I really didn't want to be here right now. I didn't care if these people were unknowingly hiding me from the cops, I just couldn't stand being around these fucking people any longer. Stoning black men, eating radishes and just being straight up fucking retarded. I couldn't fucking take it. I wanted to die and be with Marcy and have sex with her in the afterlife.

I stopped walking when Wembly stopped walking. Yeah, what a dumb fucking thing to say. I know, but how the fuck else am I supposed to describe two guys who stop moving when they get to a fucking destination? Whatever. So yeah, I looked up and saw that there was some kind of weird throne and sitting in it was obviously a living creature, but this creature was not a fraggle. No...this person was...

"Buzz Lightyear...?" The fuck was going on here? Why the shit is there some random guy dressed up as a fake astronaut from a Disney movie about toys coming to life? "No...it can't be...you ain't real..."

The man in the all familiar green and white space suit, with buttons that show off his gadgets, not to mention that purple thing on his head that showed he was in some jump suit, stood up slowly and looked down at me, and gave me a light glare that I remember seeing in his first scene in the first Toy Story movie.

"So..." the man spoke. "We have a visitor?" the man spoke in the same voice that Tim Allen used to voice Buzz. What the fuck is going on here?

Buzz walked down the steps slowly, as if he was some god that everybody worshiped, and that definitely showed when all the fraggles got down on one knee and took a bow. Wembly instructed me to do so, but I shoved the little shit down to the ground.

"I ain't bowing to nobody." I scoffed at him. Then in an instant, all the fraggles looked up at me and gasped. They all stared at me like I took a shit in the middle of the streets.

The fraggles all looked at me with serious death threatening angry faces. They all aimed their radishes at me and got ready to throw them.

"Wait!" Buzz shouted in a god like tone. But it was too late, I was pelted with radishes for like two seconds by those stupid fucking creatures. Eating radishes was one thing, but getting pegged by them was where I drew the line. Before I could do anything however, Wembly got up and swung a radish at me, and it hit me right in the gonads.

"OOOOOOOHHHH!" I cried like a sumo wrestler as I gripped at my balls and fell to the ground in pain. All the fraggles started laughing at me like I was the ugly fucking duckling and they were all sexier than me. No...I was the sexiest man alive. Otherwise, Marcy and I wouldn't fuck each other every night, even at weddings, funerals and kids parties. Yeah it's fucked up but we loved fucking each other so much.

"There was no need for any of that!" Buzz shouted at the fraggles, which caused them all to stutter in fear. Buzz then turned to Wembly, and boy did Wembly look like he would piss himself.

"Wembly, help up that man." Buzz ordered.

"Y-y-yes, milord." Wembly stuttered nervously as he slowly grabbed at my right arm and gently helped me up so I was sitting on my knees.

"Thanks for nothing." I scoffed, still obviously annoyed that I was pelted with radishes.

Buzz gave the face gesture that told the rest of the fraggles to back away, which they did. Buzz then turned his attention back to me and looked at me.

"Anyways..." he said in a serious manner. "I know why you're here..."

I looked at Buzz in a surprised way. "You...you do?" I asked, somewhat in disbelief.

"Yes." Buzz said. "I know that you took a trip to a cabin with your friends, but a hermit had contracted a flesh eating virus and passed it on to your friends. I know that you were the one who abandoned them because you were so scared of dying that you didn't realize that your friends needed you more than ever."

I mean, yeah he was right. But I learned my lesson the next day when I saw Burt's corpse. I didn't need somebody else to tell me otherwise, even if the guy turned out to be some random space ranger from a popular Disney movie from the 90s.

"Yeah, I know..." I muttered with disappointment as I held my head low. Yeah, the acting I was putting out was terrible and I knew Buzz could tell that, but he could also tell that I regretted abandoning them.

"However," Buzz said, breaking the long silence for about two minutes. "I will help you out since I know Deputy Winston is after you."

I knew that a cop had stopped by our place before we discovered that Karen caught the virus, but I never had any interaction with him. I didn't even know what he looked like. Paul was the only one who talked to the guy, and from how he described the deputy, he was just some weird hippie that wanted to party with teenagers.

Suddenly, I heard some girly scream coming from the right side of the cave. The next thing I knew, some random fat retard with curly black hair, wearing an orange shirt and cargo shorts came running onto the throne jumping around all spaz like.

"Oh no..." Buzz growled silently to himself as he placed his hand on his forehead and shook his head with disappointment.

The fat kid then grabbed a medium sized metal pole and looked as if he was getting ready to hit somebody with it. Just then, for some strange reason, an older looking Chris Jericho ran at the fat kid for whatever fucking reason. What the fuck was I looking at here? This Chris Jericho had concave tits and was wearing some douchy looking scarf. I really just wished the cops magically showed up and shot me on sight. I'd be so glad and appreciative.

The fat kid then ran at Jericho at the same time and swung at Jericho with the pole. The pole connected with Jericho's skull and caused a loud bang to be heard all throughout the cave. I could tell that the whack to the head cracked the old man's skull as the old Jericho fell to the ground seemingly dead. I looked over at Buzz, who looked to be trying to control his anger.

"George..." Buzz said in a low dangerous voice.

The kid, who I guess was named George quickly turned to face Buzz and dropped the pole. "He started it!" George cried in what had to be the gayest sounding voice for a teenage male I had ever heard. Seriously, My ears felt like they were bleeding at this point, but of course I was over exaggerating. I was still tempted to just go up to the throne and snap that fat bastard's neck.

Buzz just sighed, apparently all the anger he had just going away. "George, how can I concentrate on saving the world, when you're over here whacking future looking wrestlers with poles?"

George started pouting like a little fucking shit and walked down the throne slowly. I could imagine all the fat under his shirt jiggling with every step he took. God, this little fat fuck made me angry just as much as my uncle Bill did.

"I'm sorry, Buzz Lightyear sir." George said like a three year old who's saying sorry for stepping on somebody's foot and then trying to get away with it by being all sad about it. Buzz responded by ruffling George's hair. The fuck am I looking at right now?

"You're forgiven, kid." Buzz said with a grin on his face. "How about I lighten the mood and take everybody to Quizno's?" Are you fucking kidding me right now?

Just then, George started jumping up and down acting all giddy and was squealing like a stupid little fucking pig. Fuck my life. And if it wasn't worse, all the fraggles, inclunding Wembly started cheering and chanting, "QUIZNO'S! QUIZNO'S! TOASTY! TOASTY!"

I couldn't bare to listen to any of this anymore after a minute. "Can everyone just SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I shouted, obviously very annoyed at everything that was going on. Everybody looked over at me as I was panting heavily with anger. Buzz just responded by chuckling lightly.

"Alright, everyone." he said. "I think we should take our excitement down a notch. Jeff is obviously new to our home and is not yet suited to the way we live around here."

I looked over at Buzz and gave him a dumbfounded look. "Does anybody even go to Quizno's still?" I asked, hoping I wouldn't get some stupid obscene answer.

Buzz just started laughing halfheartedly and only calmed down a bit when he wrapped his arm around me. "Jeff my boy," he replied. "Once you go to Quizno's with us, you'll never want to leave." Of course I got an obscene answer.

Well...the more these fucking people started cheering and partying over the fact that they were going to Quizno's to eat shitty sandwiches, the more I just wanted to die. Remember when I said that I regretted abandoning my friends to get away from the cabin? Well, this is the reason why I regret it deeply.


	4. Chapter 4: I Hate Parties

**CHAPTER FOUR: I HATE PARTYING**

Alright, so I was walking with like a hundred of these fucking fury small creatures who were singing about Quizno's, and right in front of me was a giant fat pig squealing about a beef house brisket. I never thought about wanting to kill fat kids more than currently.

"Buzz, how much longer before I just kill myself?" I asked in extreme annoyance. Buzz on the other hand just let out another one of his gay chuckles.

"Look to your left!" Buzz shouted happily.

I sighed, hoping that he was over exaggerating this time, but sadly he wasn't. There was the giant sandwich restaurant that nobody on the entire planet gives a shit about. So please tell me, why the fuck is this space man taking these annoying fury fucks and this stupid fat retarded kid who's breasts probably jiggled up and down with every step he walked to this place? Why? Somebody tell me just why?!

The fraggles began cheering like a bunch of annoying flies that I wanted to just fucking swat. George the piggy boy was squealing happily and I could feel my anger rising with every squeal that I heard. Anyway, I walked over to the entrance while all these fucking weirdos ran like a stampede of wildebeests. Buzz stayed behind I guess to make sure that I wouldn't try to find a way to kill myself.

"How often do you do this?" I asked in a scoff.

"Jeff, my boy," Buzz said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I then roughly pushed his hand off my shoulder and glared at him.

"I'm not your fucking boy." I growled at the space ranger. "And I don't like you touching me for no fucking reason like I'm a little fat piggy boy that everybody hates."

Buzz just smirked at me like a little douchebag. Jesus you have no fucking Idea how badly I just wanted to go over to where he was and break his fucking helmet and watch the glass shards pierce his eyes. One of the main reasons why I usually wanted to kick the shit out of Burt numerous times was because of that douchy smile he would always give me whenever I would tell him off for being a fucking retard.

"Listen, Jeff." Buzz said in a low voice, yet still kept that douchebag smirk on his face. "We're gonna go into Quzino's, and you're going to fucking like it. Cause if not, I'm going to decapitate you with my laser. Do you copy that, pretty boy?"

I was suddenly taken aback and just taken off track. This isn't how Buzz Lightyear was supposed to talk. He's not some psychopath who's obsessed with Quizno's, he's a superhero and a good friend of the children all over the world! I still kept my ground and just stared at him. I managed to let out a slow nod, and then he turned back to normal I guess.

"Alright, good." he said happily. "I'll meet you inside, and when you come in, let me know what you want. Cause if you don't know, I'll chose for you and you better like it. You are hungry anyway since all you probably had for the last few days was beer." he then walked over to the entrance and inside the building where he was able to get the fraggles and the piggy boy to form a neat line. I still couldn't believe what just happened, but decided to go with it and walked inside after Buzz.

As soon as I walked in, I was close to fucking vomiting at the aroma of the food that was being made. I could've sworn that the food smelled like my uncle Bill's house. Seriously, you walk in and it smells like somebody took a giant shit and then decided to roll around in it before pissing in it and eating it. Sorry, that's what I think my uncle Bill did for fun.

Anyway, I hated being here but I was seriously hungry and wanted to eat something. Before I decided what I wanted, the song that was playing ended and then the next song played, which after hearing the first two seconds of it, I suddenly began to feel extremely depressed.

 _Hanging round, downtown by myself and I had so much time to sit and think about myself and then there she was..._

Those were the words that the monotone man was singing over an acoustic guitar which sounded like the chords to a typical alternative song from the 90s. I looked over at Buzz and said to him, "Hey Buzz, want to just pick for me? I'm gonna go take a seat somewhere."

"Okay." Buzz said. "Is something wrong?"

I sighed and held up my hand to him. "Nah it's nothing." I said before turning my back and then walking over to the nearest booth and slumped down, having no choice but to listen to Sex & Candy by Marcy Playground continue to play.

Just then, I looked over and saw that Buzz was sitting next to me. "I told Wembly to order for both of us." he told me. "What's going on with you?"

I sighed and then put my face in my hands. "The song..." I mumbled, almost crying. "That fucking song..."

Buzz looked confused. "What about it?" he asked. "It's just some stupid one hit wonder from 1997."

I looked up at him. "You don't get it, man." I said to him, trying not to sound angry. "That was _our_ song..."

"Huh?" Buzz then said. "Jeff, help me out please? What do you mean by 'our song'?"

I then took a deep breath and began to explain everything.

 _Burt, Sean and I were throwing this crazy college party to celebrate Sean finally getting a girlfriend instead of flirting with all the previous ones that I had. Currently I was doing a chugging contest with Burt while Sean was busy making out with his girlfriend. I was really happy for the guy. He had come such a long way from being ignored by all the girls in high school, and now he was finally having the time of his life with Melissa. Paul was originally supposed to join us, but he told me he couldn't make it because he was helping Karen with some project. That dude spent the last seven years trying to fuck this girl and he just couldn't seem to accept the fact that she wasn't interested in him despite the fact that everybody claimed he looked like Shawn from Boy Meets World._

 _Anyway, I was on my sixteenth bottle of beer, and I looked over to see how Burt was doing, and of course like a fucking retard, he was trying to pump beer into his asshole. This guy was so fucking crazy and just flat out retarded that it was funny at the same time how he could easily piss people off by just being himself. Burt and I had known each other since the third grade. We had been the main bullies in our elementary school and we used to bully Paul all the time. The only reason we became friends with him in seventh was because Karen threatened to make out with Sean in front of me if we kept messing with Paul, and it worked because I had a thing for Karen at the time, but that died out in ninth grade, but that's another story._

 _I fucking began choking on myself while chugging my next bottle of beer when Burt let out a nasty one when he was trying pump beer into his ass and it splattered all over the people in front of him. I couldn't take anymore of this and had to run to the dumpster to avoid puking all over myself while laughing._

 _As I reached the dumpster, that stupid Sex & Candy song started playing and I groaned a little bit because of how terrible Marcy Playground was. That all changed when I looked ahead of me and saw somebody puking their guts out at the dumpster. The lady wore a black t shirt and tight jeans, had tan skin and long flowing brown hair. If she wasn't vomiting like crazy I would've used my Jeff charm and she would be fucking me in the shower just like it was meant to be. I still walked over to the dumpster, trying to ignore the hot girl, but her beauty was so fucking stunning no matter what disgusting shit she was doing right now. _

_Before I could think of doing anything else, she stopped puking and looked up at me with a half smile. She let out a little giggle._

 _"Hey, man..." the girl said, obviously super drunk. Of course this made me blush._

 _"Sup..." I managed to say, trying to be cool. She let out another giggle as a result of this. I loved the charm that I had, it got me laid so many times and I enjoyed every bit of it except for the times when this big fat black girl named Yolanda tried to fuck me._

 _Anyway, before she could say anything else, she randomly let out more vomit except this time she wasn't facing the dumpster, she was facing me._

 _I could feel the warm liquid along with the particles of lettuce, carrots and chicken hit my chest. I couldn't fucking believe that this girl that I was trying to hit on puked on my chest. (Thank god she didn't shit on it)_

 _The frothy ranch dressing smelling liquid was thicker than the load I previously felched out of my old girlfriend's asshole. Yeah, I know that's disgusting but I've fucked about like 19 girls back then._

 _The next thing I knew, I puked out all the beer and hamburgers that I ate prior to this encounter and it fucking drenched her beautiful brown hair and covered her warm soft body. I could tell she was about to freak out, but before that could happen, I suddenly passed out._

 _I awoke several hours later. My head was pounding from the last night. I wonder how Burt was feeling knowing that he was trying to insert alcohol into his own asshole. I looked over at my watch and it read 11:47 am. Jesus, I was out for so long and I was covered in fucking chunks of food mixed with liquid intestines._

 _I looked over and there was that girl that had puked on me, which caused me to puke on her. She was still out when I looked at her. My idea was to just get up and run to a shower before she woke up, but when I tried to get up, she started moving. Fuck...I was screwed._

 _She slowly started to get up, whimpering a little bit and complaining to herself about how she had a hangover and that she smelled bad. She looked up at me and was speechless._

 _"What did we do last night?" she asked me, as she rubbed her temple._

 _I started blushing madly, not wanting to just be blunt and say that we puked on each other before we could properly introduce ourselves._

 _"Well..." I mumbled, not knowing what to say. "Take a look at yourself, and then at me."_

 _She let out a sigh. "I know that we're covered in puke, dick nose." she scoffed. "I'm asking what we did to cause that."_

 _Before I could say anything else, that damn Marcy Playground song started playing again. She suddenly formed a big smile._

 _"Wasn't this the song we were listening to when I first saw you?" I asked her._

 _She then frowned again. "Well how the fuck should I know?" she asked. "I was squirting ranch dressing out of my mouth last night onto a dumpster because I drank one too many Bacardi Breezers."_

 _I shook my head as I smirked at her. "Why you drinking that?" I asked her. "You should drink the stuff that I drink, like Budweiser and Bud Light."_

 _She stood up and smirked back at me. "I can drink a lot of that stuff." she said. "What's your name, guy? Mine's Marcy."_

 _"Uh, I'm Jeff." I replied back to her. "Say uhh we both smell really fucking bad and we both look like Indian trash so I was thinking...want to...uh maybe...we can...take a shower together?"_

 _She then started laughing half heartedly. "Is this your way of asking me on a date?" she asked me._

 _"I mean..." I began to say while forming a blush. "Maybe we could scrub each other to get the muck off, you know?" I then formed a smirk. "Maybe you can get the chance to scrub my ten inches of Jeff..."_

 _Marcy let out an even bigger laugh. "You're such a womanizer!" she said. "I kinda like that..."_

 _Before we could do anything else, this random asshole with big pillowy lips, and a stupid cornball bandanna was walking past us, taking pictures of himself with the camera a half an inch away from his stupid face, and noticed us. He then clenched his nose when he got closer to us._

 _"Say y'all motherfuckers should take a shower or something, dawg!" he said in some gay Hispanic high pitched voice._

 _Marcy stared at the retarded man in a blunt way. "Go make a rant, you stupid fuck." she said coldly._

 _The man widened his eyes and then started running the opposite direction like he was running away from Godzilla. As he was running he decided it would be a good idea to shove the camera up his ass. I could've sworn that I heard him say, "Oh yeah, fuck me Charley!"_

 _"What a fucking weirdo." I muttered out loud._

 _"Let's get the fuck outta here before I puke some more." Marcy said to me. I then took her back to my dorm where we quickly got into the bathroom and stripped down right away. I began to stare at Marcy's incredible attractive naked body and I didn't notice that my little Jeffrey was getting stiff. She then started giggling._

 _"Put little Jeffrey away and let's get this shit off of us." Marcy told me, snapping me out of my trance. I blushed, when I realized what she meant._

 _I followed her into the shower, and then for some reason, Sex & Candy started playing again._

 _"I thought I told Burt to not leave the fucking radio in the bathroom." I scoffed to myself._

 _"What's wrong with that?" Marcy asked me softly. "I kinda like this..."_

 _"Well..." I said, forming a half smile. "Your name is in this band after all." Then I got an idea. "Wanna be my 'Playground', Marcy?"_

 _Marcy started laughing. "Yeah sure." she replied before we started madly making out with each other. We eventually started fucking in the shower and when the climax came, I felched my cum out of her vagina._

Buzz stared at me like he had seen a hundred ghosts. "Wow, Jeff..." he said, almost dumbfounded. "That's a pretty interesting story..."

"Yeah..." I mumbled, ignoring the grossed out stare that Buzz was giving me. "It just sucks that she's dead now."

Wembly came back with two sandwiches. In his right hand looked to be some kind of sandwich with pepperoni and many of the other sliced Italian meats with vegetables such as olives and banana peppers. God that looked so fucking appetizing. In Wembly's left hand was some piece of shit. Well it was actually a tuna melt but I fucking hate tuna.

"Here you are, Buzz." Wembly said as he handed the Italian sandwich to Buzz. God no...don't tell me...

"And here you are, Jeff." Wembly said as he handed me the tuna melt. I did not like this at all. Maybe I should've ignored my depression and told Buzz that I wanted a steak sandwich or something. Instead, this little faggot got me tuna.

"YIPPEEE!" shouted George the piggy boy as he raced over to our table. Apparently he got some kind of BBQ pulled pork sandwich. Jesus that looked so appetizing and it should be mine. This piggy shouldn't even be eating something like this.

"Hey fat fuck." I bluntly said to George. George looked up at me and glared.

"I didn't do anything to you." he said all innocently.

"Give me your fucking sandwich." I barked at him. "You should be eating carrot sticks, not a tasty sandwich like that."

George glared at me. "You already have a sandwich." he said in such a whiny tone that made me want to shoot little children.

"No I don't." I scoffed at him. "I have a giant turd."

"That's not a turd." George said. "That's the tuna melt."

"Do you not understand sarcasm, you stupid fuck?" I growled at him, obviously getting angry. "I don't fucking like tuna!"

Buzz then stood up and looked down at me. "Jeff, relax." he said to me calmly. "I'm sure there's a way this can be compromised.

"How?!" I shouted. "He's eating something tasty, and I'm eating something that came out of an Indian's asshole!"

George started giggling a little bit, and that made me even more angry.

"SHUT UP, YOU STUPID FUCKING PIGGY BOY!" I shouted with my lungs as I got up and leaped over Buzz and landed on the table in front of George's sandwich. I then picked it up, and started devouring it away like crazy.

"HEY!" George shouted, tears streaming down his fat face.

"Jeff, control yourself!" Buzz shouted at me, looking as if he was about to leap up and attack me himself. The fraggles all seemed scared for their lives for some strange reason.

I ignored everybody and eventually devoured the whole BBQ sandwich in a matter of seconds.

"YOU ATE MY SANDIWICH, YOU FUCKING MEANIE!" George shouted in tears before he got on the floor and started rolling around like a fat little pig.

"JEFF!" Buzz shouted at me. "YOU OWE HIM ONE SANDWICH!"

Before I could do anything, my stomach started grumbling.

"Oh crap..." I mumbled before I quickly jumped off the table and ran into the bathroom, searching the room for a nice shiny toilet. When I found one, I quickly ran into the stall, and undid my pants and pulled them down, quickly sitting on the toilet before letting it all loose.

I could feel the mushy liquidy substance shoot out of my asshole. It was a relief, but at the same time, my asshole was burning like it was on fire. After two seconds, no more would come out and I quickly started to wipe my ass, got up and put it in the toilet before flushing it quickly. I walked out of the stall and put soap in my hands and then turned the water on to warm temperature and began to wash my hands. As I was washing them, I could hear different voices. They sounded like high school kids, and from the sound of things, one of the kids was mad at George for something.

"Say that my dad's dead to my face, you piece of lard!" one of the kids shouted.

"Marty, calm down!" another kid said.

"Killing him isn't going to make anything better!" a female voice shouted.

"They're right, Marty." Buzz said to Marty. "I'm sure this can all be resolved if-." Buzz stopped himself in mid sentence. I slowly crept out of the bathroom door to see what was going on. I looked over to see five other kids surrounding George and Buzz. One of the kids, which I assume is Marty, had one hand on George's shirt but it was slowly loosening as they looked to see who was standing by the door. The person looked to be a man with a black mop top, a pedo stash and a perverted smirk to go with it. He was wearing a police uniform and the tag on his shirt read "W. Olsen." Don't tell me...

"I see we got a bit of a party going on eh, Buzz?" the deputy asked in a voice that sounded like it belonged to a redneck pedophile. Buzz looked at the cop and took a deep breath.

"Deputy Winston," Buzz said, trying to sound calm. "What brings you here?"

"Heard there was a bit of a commotion going on over here." Winston explained. "Also, I heard that there were a group of kids trying to do a prank on an innocent kid." The rest of the kids except for George, who looked to be smirking started shaking nervously.

Before the deputy could say anything else, he looked over to the bathroom and spotted me. "Hey you!" he shouted, obviously knowing that I was one of the kids back at the cabin.

"Fuck!" I shouted as Winston reached for his gun. Suddenly, Buzz tackled the deputy and held him down.

"Run, Jeff! Run!" Buzz shouted. I could suddenly hear police sirens. The Deputy brought backup.

Buzz then kneed the deputy in the gut and looked at the fraggles. "The cops are here, you know what to do?"

"Eat them alive!" The fraggles shouted in unison. Buzz chuckled a bit and looked over at me.

"Escape through the backdoor around here!" he told me. "I'm going to fly off with George and leave everybody else to face the consequences!"

"Wait, what?!" the kids shouted at Buzz, but Buzz picked George up and then flew off with him like an asshole.

I sighed a little bit before running to where the back door could possibly be. I looked around and around before I spotted a black door which looked to be the exit in case of an emergency. I quickly ran through the door before hearing a random deep voice shout, "HYPER FUNK ZONE!"

"Huh?!" I shouted before leaping through the door and then I began seeing a bunch of weird shit.


	5. Chapter 5: Asians and John C Riley

**CHAPTER FIVE: ASIANS AND JOHN C RILEY**

After running through the doors to escape the stupid Quizno's restaurant where shitty sandwiches were made, things just suddenly got bizarre. Everything that I saw looked as if it was I was taking a random acid trip. Speaking of acid trips, there was a time when Sean thought that if he went on an acid trip, he would be able to fuck all the girls he desired. Instead, he ended up fucking a deer in the woods. Burt ended up recording it on his phone and ended up showing everybody in our college and Sean wished he killed himself because of it. I ended up talking him off the ledge and everything went back to normal for the time being where he still kept flirting with all the girls that I dated.

I couldn't believe that I just could not get a break since the incident back at the cabin. I was forced to eat Quizno's with a bunch of annoying fury fucks along with a fat little piggy boy to now being in some dimension that apparently was known as the-,

 _"HYPER FUNK ZOOOONEEE!"_

There was the deep voice again! I looked around for any sign of life form in this random area that I just happened to stumble across without going through a portal.

"HEY!" I shouted desperately, hoping to find any life in this weird dimension, but to no avail. I kept running around the dimension like a fucking retard on crack, looking around at my surroundings that looked like they were drawn by some retarded asshole who's obsessed with cats attacking microphones.

I stopped in place when I began to hear a gay bass baritone from like five miles away from me. I couldn't make out the voice really because it sounded like every rock singer from the 90s, but I knew this one had to belong to one of those incredibly gay one hit wonder cunts. I tried to get myself to move, but I was scared shitless. I was scared like it was Sean coming in through the window to penetrate me with a log. The voice kept getting closer to me, and closer. Eventually The voice was so close that I felt the need to turn around just to see some giant creature that wasn't a monster, but it was literally some giant douchebag rock guy from like 1995. He had long brown hair that was straight like a girl's so you could tell that this guy was a legit faggot. His face looked so punchable also, but it was sad that it was because if the monster was my height, I would have no issue breaking it like I did to Sean a year ago. The creature suddenly began to sing what had to be one of the most childish idiotic songs ever.

 _Hooooow does a duck know...what direction south is..._

 _And how to tell his wife...from all the other ducks..._

I couldn't believe the shit I was hearing. What made this even more scary was that there was music playing along with him. Wasn't this supposed to be the Hyper Funk Zone? Why the fuck were they playing this gay shit? Nothing in this story makes any fucking sense! Like why the fuck is there some giant asshole in another dimension singing a gay song from a gay band from a stupid fucking country like Canada?

The giant weirdo 90s rock guy who probably just got done snorting crack, suddenly began walking more towards me, and looked as if he was about to step on me. Without thinking, I started running off in a random direction, not thinking about what I would be running into. I didn't care if I stumbled across some gnomes with black bushy beards yelling about Ivory not being in the Hall of Fame, or even running into retarded kids pretending to be wrestlers on the internet. All I cared about was getting away from this stupid 90s music giant douchebag.

Suddenly I began to hear screeching from what sounded like an Asian trying to disguise himself as a white guy.

"AWWW!" the person screamed. "DAVID, PLEASE GO LIGHT ON MY ASSHOLE WHILE I TRY TO CONSULT OUR CHAT!"

The fuck did I just hear? I kept on running until I stopped to see what has to be the most horrible thing I'm seeing right now.

If you're near me right now, you'll see that ten feet away from me is some John C. Riley lookalike with a voice that makes me want to cut my balls off, wearing a Make America Great Again beanie that was definitely too big for him, or maybe it wasn't and his head is just incredibly fat and puffy. He looked to be wearing a white lab coat that he probably stole from Hot Topic, so you knew he was a poser and in reality he was some broke cunt who's mom probably fucked alot of black guys in pornos so he probably tried to be edgy to the jews and other races which is how he ended up getting fucked in the ass by the man that's fucking him right now. The man doing the fucking was obviously part Asian, had long brown hair reaching to his neck. He had surprisingly a decent muscular build so of course he's going to be the dominant one and not this pudgy looking fuck who's asshole is getting ripped to shreds. The part Asian looked to be wearing a black leather jacket so you knew that he was sort of a cool guy in real life. No matter how much they seemed to be enjoying this, I had to stop it.

"HEY!" I shouted to the two guys having sex as I walked up to them. "HEY FAGGOTS!"

They didn't stop going. They were completely ignoring me!

"Hey, Jack." the Asian said in a sinister way. "When we're done, I want you to curl up in a blanket and giggle like a little bitch for me."

"OH! Sure thing, David!" Jack said as he kept moaning due to being penetrated like the little bitch he wants to be.

"THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING?!" I shouted at them. "HOW FUCKING SICK AND GAY ARE YOU PEOPLE?!"

They still didn't say anything or stop their fucking. However, David did turn his head to look at me. He had a light glare directed at me.

"Do you mind, you impatient fuck?" he said to me bitterly. "I'm trying to fuck this pro white asshole. Wait your turn!"

I raised a brow, confused on why this guy thought that I wanted to get fucked in the ass by this muscle looking twink. The only person who's penetrated my asshole was Marcy, and that's because I asked her to finger it due to my curiosity. I'll admit it felt good, but if Burt was still alive and he found out about it, he'd be calling me the slut and Marcy my master who whips me around in a gimp suit.

I stepped forward a few more steps and got in David's face. "I AM NOT A FAGGOT, YOU DUMB ASIAN LOOKING ASSHOLE!" I shouted and ended up shoving him to the ground. As he hit the ground, his penis slid out of Jack's asshole and to my surprise, it looked to be over twenty inches long. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped down in awe as I stared at the Asian throbbing stiff boner that was covered in bits of corn due to going back and forth inside of Jack's asshole. It looked so stunning and worthy of all the hot ladies to get on it. I can't believe when I say this, but I was jealous of this weird gay Asian.

David got up slowly and looked as if he was about to strangle me. "You ruined out constant motion!" he shouted. "Now I'm going to have to start it all over again!" He then reached for his left pocket and pulled out a pistol and pointed it right at me.

"Shit..." I mumbled. This was the second time that somebody pulled a gun out on me, except this time it was a man with an incredibly huge penis that I just wanted to grab and feel just to see if it was real.

Before he could pull the trigger, the goddamn 90s douchebag giant's voice was beginning to be heard again and getting closer to us. "Fuck..." I mumbled fearfully.

I glimpsed over at David and saw that he had dropped his gun and started trembling in fear. Jack on the other hand grabbed a random blanket and began to curl up in it and started squealing like a little scared piggy. God that sounded so annoying.

"The fuck is Brad Roberts doing awake?!" David hissed, struggling to pull his pants up.

"Wait a minute," I said in confusion. "That giant has a name?"

"Yes!" David shouted as he fell to the ground lightly trying to pull his pants up, but thanks to his big throbbing erection, he couldn't pull them up all the way. "BRad Roberts is the king of the Hyper Funk Zone and he will punish those who interrupt him with the sight of homosexuality!" He then turned around to look at Jack, who was trying to crawl away from the scene.

"Oh no, you don't!" David shouted and leaped at Jack, pinning him to the ground. "We're going to finish this off even if Brad Roberts kills us for doing so!" He then proceeded to forcefully stick his twenty inch hard cock into Jack's small asshole. Tears were streaming down the poor piggy's face and he was whimpering in the process. Believe it or not, I was actually feeling sorry for Jack, and I felt the need to do something to stop all of this from happening.

"Hey, get off of him!" I shouted and ran over to them, trying to pry David off of Jack, but David seemed to be so strong that not even me trying to pry him off of Jack could stop him from fucking Jack.

I could hear Brad Roberts coming closer. I could tell because him singing "Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm" nonstop was becoming more apparent and louder.

"Dude, we're gonna die!" I shouted, becoming more aggressive in trying to get him off of Jack. "Get off of him, now!"

But it was too late. Three seconds later, the giant Brad Roberts had reached us and stopped in place, looking down at us while my body was getting tense more and more by the second. David didn't give a fuck and kept raping Jack, not paying attention to the king giant that he himself claimed to be afraid of.

Brad Roberts formed a fist in his right hand and brought it up, seemingly going to crush us. That's when I had to think. Without hesitation, I delivered a swift karate kick to the back of David's head, which stopped him from raping Jack and made him fall to the ground knocked out cold. I saw that David had seemingly ejaculated, but I wasn't sure if that was the case or if that was just pre cum. I didn't care to ask and quickly ran over to Jack and stuck my hand in his asshole, causing him to let out a groan before passing out. I quickly took out my hand and saw that it was a ball of David's cum. I began to grit my teeth, feeling myself about to puke. But I couldn't stop to think anymore, I had to take action.

As the giant Brad Roberts swung his fist down at me, I quickly threw the cum ball at his left foot which hit the ground. However, Brad ended up touching the cum and ended up slipping. I saw him go up ten feet and then suddenly with a loud thud, the giant ended up falling on it's neck, killing himself in the process.

I couldn't believe that I just saved myself from a giant that was about to kill me by felching cum out of another man's asshole. I quickly dropped to the ground onto one knee and began to puke my fucking guts out. There was no random sink around so I now had the smell of another man's cum on my hand and it was guts completely disgusting. I then plopped my head to the ground and started crying out of distress and being tired. I never asked for any of this to happen. Why the fuck was this going on at all?

I then looked up and saw what looked to be the exit into a shitty part of New York. I didn't want to go to any part in New York whatsoever, but at this point, it would be better than being in some fucked up dimension. I got up and quickly began running at the portal and jumped through. When I got through, the next thing I remember I saw myself falling into a shitty restaurant that was probably owned by some old Indian. I ended up falling through a table and ended up hitting my head on somebody's plate, knocking me unconscious. This was not the way that I had wanted to go out just for the record.


End file.
